Okay, so I am about to show my vulnerable side. As the title suggests, I am writing about being dumped. Nobody enjoys being dumped. Being dumped hurts and often forces one to ask themselves several questions that can not immediately be answered. Well, I am currently asking many questions that I haven't been able to answer. Unfortunately for me, she dumped me. Why? Was it something I did? Did I say the wrong thing? Was I too hard on her? Are we growing apart? Will there be an even stronger bond when we get through this? I DON'T KNOW. I NEED ANSWERS.
Our relationship started off on the rocky side. It may be an understatement to say I didn't think I had a chance to get on her good side. Many years ago her mood would change for the worse as soon as I would get close. In fact, one time I got too close and she scratched my face. She actually scarred me. The scar lasted about three years. That was approximately ten years ago. The funny thing is shortly after that our relationship started to drastically improve. We began seeing each other more often. I was no longer away at college and had the time to foster a quality relationship. I began to take her out more often. We quickly reached a point we both looked forward to our time together. Me and my beautiful niece. It was great, she reminded me of me. She possessed so many of my habits and characteristics. I actually started to develop some of her habits. My closest friends know my niece taught me how to roll my eyes (don't judge me). Many thought we were a perfect pair. I called her my Princess. And yes, she often acted like one. The two of us were close to inseparable.
Fast forward to preteen years. This is the beginning of the sassy period. The start of body development. The confusing years that include changes...yeah, those changes. Some how things went from me getting two calls a day to not having my calls returned. Why did things change? Was it my increased role regarding the importance of school? Is it because I started discussing different career paths with a twelve year old that clearly couldn't care less? Is it because her favorite uncle became her most strict disciplinarian? Maybe, just maybe it is a necessary stage she has to go through. I went through a rough patch with my older niece when she was close to that age. That rough patch lasted approximately three years. Will I have to wait that long this time around?
Trust me...I'm trying to show patience. This ish hurts! My Princess acts like she doesn't want anything to do with me. Unfortunately for me, she doesn't view my wallet as an extension of me. I call her Princess and she calls me Uncle can I have. Being the bigger person here should be easy, right? She is the preteen drama queen, right? So why am I the one losing sleep? Why am I getting glossy eyed thinking about my Princess. Damn, getting dumped hurts. It hurts even when you know, or at least pray, it is only a temporary break.
Sweet post. This is a necessary part of the relationship -- for both of you. Call it growing pains. She's coming into herself (she will make mistakes) and you're learning that your "little" Princess won't always be little. Feelings get hurt in the process but I guarantee that you'll have a stronger relationship because of it. Just continue to show up, even when it seems like she couldn't care less. That is actually when your consistency in her life is most important. Trust me, this is coming from a former certified "Daddy's Little Girl"!
ReplyDelete~B-Double
Wow, you do have feelings. My brother recently started preparing me for this point with my daughter. I can't see my little girl turning on me. I hope it doesn't happen to me, but thanks for the heads-up.
ReplyDeleteThis is her evolution and right now she feels like she doesn't need you. It's part of the process of her coming into her own. Just remain the same Uncle you have been to her for all these years and she will appreciate it in the long run. In the mean time....MAN UP.
ReplyDeleteD
Being a little closer to the situation. I think it's because you tried to fill a role/void that wasn't yours to fill. You became the most responsible person in her life and for you that required you to discipline, chastize, and punish. Instead, she needed an ear, a safe haven a place to get away and enjoy life. Which wasn't very enjoyable at home. No where am I saying that you can't discipline or you cant correct, but it should be done in a more enlightentment way versus the "parent" way if you understand what I mean. She loves you and there are some new paths she is facing in life. Which definitely includes self image and boys. I think now is a good time to make a trip and just spend time. And begin to talk to her as the woman she is becoming, instead of the little girl you once new. Then she will start to reach out more, because only then will you be the one person that she can talk to "For REAL"
ReplyDeleteBrought back baby memories of my little munchie... There was a time I could hold her and carry her then she decided she was ready to explore on her own. However, there are always those cool moments when she needs me and that makes me smile.
ReplyDelete